I know, I know. I imagine that anyone that is a Celiac is just shaking their head right now (fine, okay, judge me, raise your eyebrows and make "pfffft" noises with your mouth...) and wondering why I would be crazy enough to put my body through the agony that comes with ingesting gluten.
First, let me just give you some background information. I was officially diagnosed with Celiac Disease back in 2010 but dealt with symptoms for the majority of my young adult life. Celiac disease, simply explained, means that I can not eat any grains containing the protein gluten, and when/if I do, it messes me up real bad. Gluten is the stuff that makes all of the fun stuff like bread, cakes, cookies and brownies, well, basically super great, fluffy and bouncy. Click this link to learn more: I am curious about Celiacs...! Treatment for this awful and hellish disease, you ask? A lifetime of being Gluten Free (GF). Ugh, I know, absolutely awful, right??!!! You may now come and join me in the pity party I am throwing for myself. GF appetizers, anyone?!
Confession time: I am a Celiac and I cheat all the time. My disease is not as bad as in other people, but I do get the tummy aches and trouble (me and the toilet have gotten pretty "tight", we are mad friends, yo!) and the skin rashes, headaches, cramps and the like, but I have never ended up in the hospital for it. Thank goodness! I think because it has never been really bad, I cheat often and just deal with the symptoms and go on with my life. The problem with this is that somehow my disease gets push back to gonna-pretend-you-don't-exist-land and if I end up abusing my digestive system way too much, my body gets very angry with me and it basically starts shutting down. I am sure, being the smarty-pants readers that you are, you have probably guessed where I am going with all of this chatter.
I cheat. A lot!
And, now I am suffering.
I am hurting.
And, its all my fault.
I will spare you the super gross details, but I have been feeling really sick. Probably the worse I have ever felt of all the times I have cheated on my disease. My runs (no, not the gross kind, but actual runs that I accomplish with my feet) have been horrific and the recovery has been nightmarish at best. My fatigue is the worse it has ever been and it is really freaking me out being that we are 23 Days: 21 Hours: 32 Minutes and 35 Seconds from the PR Marathon and Half-Marathon event, and I am feeling this way. Three days ago, tried to go on an easy run with the Hubby and ended up quitting after one mile. Can you believe this?!?! I barely survived one mile and in 23 days I am suppose to run a half-marathon. Eeek!
Kinda explains the blog hiatus, right?! Sorry, friends... But, when you feel this crappy the last thing on your mind is using said mind to somehow string together a bunch of words and somehow end up with a post that makes some sort of sense and never forgetting to inject some witty humor, blah, blah, blah... <------ See, what I mean?! My brain is fatigued, too! Don't you just feel just terrible for me? No...you say? Cuz I brought this on myself, right? Yeah, I know... (hangs head in utter shame...)
There is a running blog that I follow and the author is just a champ, she deals with tons of issues because of her Chron's disease and still manages to write funny and witty blog posts, at times from her hospital bed. Wow! She is kind of my hero! How she does it while being so sick, is beyond me. Anyways, I am not as fabulous as her and thus you have not heard from me in a while.
For the past several weeks, my body kept giving my the usual signs that it needed a break from all the gluten and being the carb weakling that I am, I didn't listen. Just kept cheating away, happily, like an ignorant fool. Yeesh, makes me want to stand in front of a mirror "pffft" myself! I had no idea how much this would affect my running and as I increased mileage I found myself really struggling with my runs and felt like I was almost killing myself to complete them. Especially my long runs. The soreness and fatigue that followed my long runs have been awful, near debilitating. Last friday, I ran 9 miles. Side note: A huge, enormous shout-out to my best friend, Sweet Missy, for calling me (I texted her while running, no easy feat, and begged her to call me on her way to work) and encouraging me those last 25 minutes. I would not have made it without her.
I know the following little story will sound very much like a "First World Problem," so just ignore that tiny little part and focus on the real issue, and that is me and my tummy. Okay, moving on with the story, so I get home from my 9-mile run and my hubby suggests we go to the "big city" (San Juan, aka, The Metro) to get our Apple TV fixed at Plaza Las Americas and seeing his desperation, I agreed (he did bribe me with some GF P.F. Changs, how in the world could I say no to that, huh?). So, after a quick shower and a hearty breakfast, we set off. The drive there and even walking the mall, I felt okay, tired, but okay. We get to the apple store and after waiting forever and finding out that it will be about two weeks to get the equipment fixed (cue the eye rolls), starving we finally headed towards P.F. Changs and while we were walking towards the restaurant I really started to feel like I was going to pass out. As soon as we got there and sat down I got a splitting migraine and got sick in the bathroom (how embarrassing!!!) Our day trip was officially cut short. As soon as the food arrived we asked the waiter to make it to go and quickly headed back home (well, as fast as a two-hour drive can go). I was sick! I felt awful! I knew, I had to make a serious change.
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| Jobos Beach, Isabela PR |
So, once again, I am on a GF diet lifestyle. It usually takes about one week of absolutely being 100% gluten free to really start feeling better. I am on day #2. I am not completely better but at least I can say I feel better than I did yesterday. Five more days and I should start really getting the pep back in my step. I have been cleansing my body from the awful culprit and trying to get healthy. Resting as much as I force myself to and trying to stay positive. Scouring the internet for GF recipes and already have a GF bread baking in my bread maker. I am realistic enough to admit that I probably won't ever be 100% GF, but I am telling myself that I have to at least try to live a gluten-free life as much as possible. In the end, gluten makes me suffer and damages my body and I should avoid it as much as possible. Punto!
I think I am going to skip my long run this week and just give myself a little bit of time to rest and become brand new again. I can't wait to get back to kicking some serious ass! Next friday, and this is my absolute hope, I will be able to complete my 10-miler and maybe not feel like complete death afterwards. Hoping, wishing, fingers crossed and all that jazz!
So, I have some things to humbly ask of you:
- After you finish raising your eyebrows and "pffft-ing" me, I ask that you keep me in your positive thoughts as I embark on this dreaded GF life, once again. It's hard as hell, people!
- That you send healing vibes my way and for my tummy!
- Lastly, that you wish me luck these next couple of weeks as I continue training for the day that the countdown says: 0 Days:0 Hours:0 Minutes and 0 Seconds!
Thanks, friends, for "listening" to me whine and cry about my tummy troubles. As much as I don't want to, cuz I really do love "talking" to you, I bid you goodbye for now. I am going to get my rest on!!!
As, always, I leave you with a couple of questions:
What are you experiences with training and living with a chronic disease? How do you stay positive on bad days?
Love&Hugs,
Bella
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